$180 - the Price of Wisdom and Awareness

The day after Mother's Day, I visited Kaiser to take the next steps to making myself a mother.  After finding out that #6 had not worked, I scheduled a day #13 ultrasound and a HCG trigger shot.  I was told by a newly pregnant woman at my last SMC group meeting that she had gotten pregnant with the trigger shot.  The HCG trigger shot, a one time injection of hormones, allows doctors to time ovulation to mere hours. 

Brilliant!  But, why had I never heard of this before???  Probably because Kasier treats their patients like livestock, herding them in and out like farm animals.  Don't let me get started, that's a whole other blog!  I sure wish I could afford one of those fancy fertility clinics that covers all bases when trying to get women pregnant.  Sadly my insurance and teacher salary gets me crappy Kaiser.

After school, Monday afternoon, I checked in at Kaiser, forked over my credit card and paid for my $180 ultrasound.  I was led down the familiar hallway of the ob/gyn wing and into the small corner room housing the clunky ultrasound machine that kindly informed me months ago that I had a healthy uterus.  Before getting settled, I entered the private bathroom in the corner of the room, peed in a cup and handed the warm liquid over to the waiting nurse.

I stripped down, donned the crinkly, plastic robe and sat in the reclined, cushioned chair, feet in stirrups.  Knocking softly, the nurse practitioner peeks her head in and introduces herself.  She props down between my legs and gets down to business.  After inserting the speculum into my lady parts, she finds that my eggs are growing on the left side (somehow I already knew this; I've gotten so familiar with every cramp, tinge and ache in my reproductive system).  She points to a cluster of black, fuzzy spots on the tiny, black and white screen and explains that these were the potential "candidates" and then points to a larger, fuzzier, spot some distance away, and determines that this was the "elected" official chosen to go the distance.  She measures the egg's width as well as the thickness of my uterine lining.  The uterine lining shows adequate thickness for an egg to cling to and the egg measures 18mm, a good size, considering the egg grows about 1mm a day, and 21mm is the target measurement.   

After oogling at my healthy, fuzzy eggs, I got dressed and met the nurse practitioner in her office.  Barely seated, she says, "You're positive!"  "Huh?" I think to myself.  Noticing the odd look on my face, she explains that the urine test was positive and I am ovulating.  "Ohhhhh!" I understand now.  For a nanosecond I got excited thinking that "positive" meant I was pregnant (clearly shows how eager I've been to hear those words). I take a seat and the NP explains to me that it is unnecessary to proceed with the trigger shot, as I am already ovulating and tells me to return tomorrow for the insemination.

On my way out, walking to the parking lot, I am shocked, flustered, excited and worried.  Ovulating on Day #13!?  That's unheard of!  I've always ovulated on Day #16 - religiously!  This is super early!  Then it dawns on me.  Those lousy pee sticks I've been relying on to predict ovulation must have been wrong!  The hospital's test must be more sensitive, which means I was probably inseminating waaaaay too late the last six times!   Ugh!

I'm outraged for a minute, consider writing ClearBlue Easy, First Response and Target a disgruntled letter before I stop in my tracks and realize how thankful I am for the day's appointment.  Had I not forked over $180 and peed in a cup, I would never had known!  I would have simply relied on the crappy test kits and probably missed my ovulation window again.      

After coping with the shock, I then turn to worry.  The Sistrens had been planning to hold a ceremony for me before the next insemination.  I told them I expected to ovulate much later in the week.  Oh no, we wouldn't be able to have the ceremony now!  I was so looking forward to it.  I got on the phone with Sistren Sandy and explained the situation.

Like wildfire the news spread, and within hours, later that evening, my beautiful Sistrens were on my doorstep, dressed in white, like angels, prepared to give me what turned out to be the most moving, loving and thoughtful ceremony ever...