Retrieval Time!

June 23, 2012

Whoa, what a day.  Where to begin? 

After a very restless sleep, amounting to possibly only two hours of rest, Chrissy and I awoke to an alarm for the first time since we've been in Barbados.  We were to report to Barbados Fertility Centre at 7:30am to prep for the egg retrieval at 8am.  Tired and thirsty, since my last gulp of water was at 11:45pm the night before, (just making it in before my midnight cut off time), we were let into the clinic by nurse Anna, already donning scrubs.

Since it was Saturday, the friendly ladies at the front desk were not present to greet us. Anna said we could follow her to the recovery room to get prepped right away.  She showed us to a gurney covered in linen at the far end of the room, against a wall.  Atop the gurney was a blue gown, cap and booties for me to change into.  She pulled the curtain to give us privacy and I changed into the, oh so flattering attire. 

Emma, the nurse who administered my Intralipid treatment a few days ago came moments later to take my blood pressure and go over post-op directions.  As she came to page two, detailing the next day's protocol, I started to feel nauseous and woozy.  Having a hard time focusing on the paper work while sitting up on the gurney, I asked if I could lie down...

The next thing I remember was a shaking image of Emma's face before me, my hand in hers, as she called out my name and urged me to take deep breathes.  I could feel my body convulsing, my eyes locked on Emma, but I couldn't get my body to stop shaking.  Though it must have just been a moment, the shaking felt like it went on forever. 

As I gained full consciousness, I was able to focus on Emma's words.  I focused on my breathing, while trying to understand what had just happened.  For a moment I thought the procedure was over and I was coming out of my sedated state.  Wow, so quick, I thought to myself!  Then as my eyes focused even more, I became aware of Chrissy by my side as she was when we were going over the post-op directions.  It wasn't over.  In fact, we hadn't even got started yet!  Good grief!

What exactly happened, I have no idea.  Whatever it was, it happened again after the procedure, back at the apartment, several hours after the procedure.  Sitting at the kitchen table, again, trying to read the post op directions, I started to feel light headed and dizzy again.  Just as I was thinking I need to go lie down again, I see Chrissy out of the corner of my eye, bent over, looking me in the face, her hand on my back and arm.  I'm shaking again.  And I can't stop.  I hear Chrissy calling, "Tan" in a sense of urgency and I realize it's happening again.  In my head I'm panicking because I don't have control and can't stop the shaking.  When will it end?  And then, just as it ceased this morning, the shaking finally stopped, my vision became clear and I was in a state of wonderment and shock - what the heck happened? 

Did I faint?  Seize?  Go into shock?  Don't know.  The nurse explained that one of the medications I was taking in pill form often makes women nauseas and dizzy.  She gave me an alternative method of taking future doses - hope that works out because I'm not looking forward to having another moment like that.  And, I'm sure Chrissy isn't either.  I'm sure it gave her a bit more than a scare to see me in such a state (two times) and to see my eyes have an expression, as she describes, as "not there."

Well, back to the recovery room.  After I had my breathing under control, my vision back, and was lying comfortably, the nurses had a brief meeting before my procedure was scheduled.  Chrissy and I were left behind the curtain for a bit, awe struck at what had just happened.  Overwhelming emotions took over and tears dripped down the sides of my face, gracing my ears.  Thankfully, Chrissy was there to hold my hand, caress my cap covered head and speak to me gently.  I appreciated the moment and was grateful for the time to release, as I didn't want to head into the "theatre," as they call the surgery room, with tears streaming from my eyes.

Luckily, I had the crying and my breathing under control by the time Dr. Skinner came to listen to my breathing.  Anna returned next and asked me to rise from the gurney and empty my bladder before the procedure.  I made it ok to the bathroom and when I exited Chrissy was there waiting to give me one more hug before I went into the theatre. 

Once in the theater, a reclining blue, cushioned chair, draped in a protective cover sat next to a sonogram machine, very much like the ones used for my sonos on previous days.  The only difference however, was the stirrups.  Instead of stirrups to rest my feet in, there were wider stirrups that I placed my calves in, which elevated my legs.  After settling in, Anna wrapped and velcroed my left arm with a plastic arm band to monitor my heart rate, while Dr. Skinner inserted my IV on the right arm.  I was introduced to the embryologist, who asked my name and birth.  Dr. Skinner announced that I would have a bitter taste in my mouth just as she started the anesthesia, and sure enough, instantaneously, I did.  The last thing I remember was staring at a light...

And then awaking again to Emma's voice, behind the curtain, on the gurney, in the recovery room again.  This time it was really over.  Other than feeling as if I had come out of a really deep sleep (which I had), I felt fine.  Emma gave me a cup of water - the first sip of liquid in over 8 hours.  My vitals were taken and Chrissy entered, yay!  I rested a bit more and slowly got dressed.  A taxi arrived to pick us up at the back door of the recovery room to take us the short distance around the block.

The whole procedure took about 15-20 minutes, though the time it took me to recover was just over an hour.  The embryologist was able to extract four eggs.  I was of course hoping for several more, but am happy that they were able to successfully take four.  I will find out tomorrow morning how many eggs they were able to harvest.  I'm praying for all four.  And am dreading to hear none at all.  I can't possibly imagine the devastation I may feel should I hear that news.  Ugh, ok can't think about that.  Must keep positive and hopeful and grateful for a successful procedure.

The remainder of my day was spent sleeping, resting and shuffling back and forth to the bathroom.  I've got a bit of abdominal cramping on my left side, very much like menstrual cramps and my head feels a bit heavy, like I'm recovering from flu like symptoms.  As the day goes on, I feel more alert and less zombie like.  Chrissy has been taking great care of me, assisting with my meds, fixing me treats to eat and making sure I'm hydrated.  We're awaiting Reen, who should be arriving any moment now.  Hoping to feel 100% normal tomorrow, receive good news from the embryologist and return to the beach and Yemaya.          

More news soon...

They're All Grown Up!

6-21-12

Today was my second visit to the clinic.  The purpose of the visit was to perform another sonogram to determine how much my eggs have grown.  Chrissy and I awoke early, had breakfast and video documented my morning injection.  Chrissy has been kind enough to document some of the significant events that I have experienced and endured while on the island.  She has been a brave soul bearing witness to the grotesque mutilation I've imposed upon my body.  We're talking up close and personal footage of the injections in real time!  Coming to a blog near you!  Hmm...maybe not?  I don't think anyone else needs to see all that. 

My poor belly is scattered with bruises of every color - black, blue, purple, green - and speckled with reddish-purple dots pinpointing each injection shot.  It looks as if I have vampire bites along my spare tire and as though (as Chrissy fittingly jokes) a Smurf has been throwing punches at my belly!  Believe me, not a pretty sight!  My first day on the beach exposing the rainbow of colors on my belly, in my two piece, was a little embarrassing...but I'm over it now.  Clexane, a drug to control antibodies running rampant in my body that prevents embryos from implanting is the culprit for all the bruises and pricks.  It's a chubby, little syringe with an apparent potent and lasting needle.

Chrissy and I walked around the block to the clinic and after settling into the exam room, Anna, the nurse, and another woman, whom Anna introduced as a trainee entered.  The trainee performed the sonogram on me, which led to a prolonged state of discomfort as she maneuvered the probe like a joystick throughout my uterus on a treasure hunt for my eggs - literally speaking, haha.  Once found and measured, the final count was 6 eggs that are viable for the taking.  There could even be more on the actual day.

After the sono, Chrissy and I returned to Anna's office to discuss the changes to my medication and to schedule the retrieval, as the eggs all measured 18mm and over - the desired size.  Most importantly, Anna gave me the final meds I would need to take before the retrieval, including a syringe containing a drug to finalize the maturation of the eggs to be taken exactly at 8pm that evening, two different types of pills to assist in controlling hormones and antibodies from attacking the embryo and preventing it from implanting and finally, pills to help fight possible infection due to the invasive procedure.

After the rundown of the meds, Anna explained I would need to fast Friday night and return Saturday morning for the egg retrieval.  The procedure is expected to last 15-20 minutes; all the while I will be under anesthesia.  Since I will need about 1 1/2 hours to recover, Anna suggested Chrissy come back to fetch me around 9:30am.  With my drugs in hand and a sense of overwhelming anxiety brewing within, we were on our way.

Luckily, the only thing we had scheduled for the day was the beach, so I had a lot of time to decompress, relax and wrap my head around the meds schedule - when to take what, how often, how much, with food or not, etc.  I've just about got that all down, but I'm still trying to fight the nervous and anxious feelings revolving around the actual procedure.  What worries me most is "going under."  Forget the fact that they'll be extracting multiple eggs from my uterus!  No, what worries me the most is being put down with anesthesia!  Go figure!  I think seeing the women two days ago at the clinic, post-procedure, waking from their beds and walking out from behind the curtains looking like zombies had a lasting effect on me. 

Not to worry, I will get through this.  I'm happy to be doing this somewhere as relaxing as Barbados and to not have a care in the world, in terms of work, correcting papers and the regular hustle and bustle of home life.  Tomorrow is another free day for Chrissy and I.  We plan to of course, go to the beach and hit up the "Fish Fry" in a town along the coast - apparently the "thing" to do on a Friday night.  I plan to eat real good to last me all evening and the next morning!  I won't get to eat again until after the procedure on Saturday - which will most likely be the next opportunity I'll have to blog!  Until then...   

Let's Get This Over With!

6-20-12

 

Today was an eventful day that started with a taxi ride to Warrens, an inland town, perched on a hill about 20 minutes from where we are staying, in Hastings.  The purpose of the visit to Warrens was to fulfill my required counseling session. 

Before leaving, I was told by Barbados Fertility Centre that since I was using donor sperm, it was required that a counselor sign me off as mentally stable to take on the challenges of raising a child conceived with anonymous donor sperm.  I thought this was absolutely absurd in my case, since I have been trying to conceive for nearly two years and have had oodles of support, therapy and time to consider the challenges.  If I was going to change my mind, I think I would have done so my now!

Well, since I did not have a letter from a professional therapist stating my sanity, I had to suck it up, pay for a private counselor and take a trip out to Warrens.  Chrissy took the ride with me, which turned out to be a great way to see another part of the island.  We arrived at the counselor's residence, a quaint yellow house surrounded by lush foliage.  Chrissy waited in the cool, breezy lanai as the counselor and I met for our session in a small, pleasant room overlooking the hillside.  No, there was no leather couch, but there were two small, white couches with colorful pillows separated by a small, brown, wooden end table conveniently holding a box of tissue.

With the counselor directly across from me in a wooden chair matching the end table, she first looked over the survey she asked me to complete when I arrived.  After a quick glance, she deemed me "not depressed" and moved on to her list of questions that she had prepared for clients such as myself. 

In her quaint, British accent, sitting upright with her legs crossed, the counselor, Laura, asked me the obvious first question - how had I come to the decision to conceive using donor sperm?  Gosh, I should have just referred her to my blog!  She went on with typical questions that did not surprise me - what's my family relations like?  Support?  Expectations?  Challenges?  Will I tell my child how they were conceived, and if so, how?  And so on. 

I must admit, when the session started, I was rather stubborn and pretty much just wanted to get the whole thing over with.  I put up with the logistics and protocol and humored her questions.  By the end of the session however, I appreciated the session and had more respect for the UK laws requiring couples and women trying to conceive in these "out-of the-norm" ways.  I can't say that I came away with more from the session, as much of what we discussed was surface level, and as far as the thought provoking questions go, I had already considered them personally on several attempts.  Though, at the same time I have to say, it wasn't a terrible experience either.

After the session, which lasted just under an hour, Chrissy and I went about our day.  We visited the capital, Bridgetown, scored some decent looking fruit and ended the day on the beach (what a surprise!).  Tomorrow we return to the clinic to discover how much the little eggies have grown over the last two days and to find out when I return for the egg retrieval.  More to come!  

Beautiful Barbados!

We made it to Barbados!  Two days ago, after much hustling to finish grades, report cards and packing my classroom into 100+ boxes and bins, Chrissy and I took off from SFO at the wee hours of the morn' to land almost 12 hours later in Barbados!

What can I say?  Barbados is absolutely gorgeous!  Genuinely kind, good natured people who naturally say "hello" to you as you pass by, superb weather (quite humid and hot!), and of course the beaches!  Oh, the beaches!  Absolutely heavenly!  Ultra fine, white powdery sand leading into crystal clear waters that span every hue of blue from aqua, turquoise to deep navy blue at the horizon.  Baby blue skies are decorated with puffy white clouds that offer the occasional solace from the blazing sun.

We've spent our days sleeping in, lounging on the beach in the afternoon, and foraging for food in the evening.  Despite having a full kitchen in our extraordinarily spacious two bedroom apartment, we have been seeking out inexpensive places to eat.  They've proven to be non-existent.  Not only are restaurants pricey, but groceries are also quite expensive! 

Well, we're not here for the food now are we???  After having a day to ourselves to roam the local neighborhood, much of day #2 was spent at the clinic.  Literally around the corner, no more than 5 minutes walking time, rests the Barbados Fertility Centre, directly across from the ocean and boardwalk.  Chrissy and I were pleasantly welcomed into the cool, air conditioned waiting room, where several of the ladies I have been corresponding with over email introduced themselves, smiling and shaking my hand.  It was great to finally match faces to names after months of non-verbal communication.

As we waited to see the doctor, several lone men sat waiting for their partners to come out of their drug induced state - presumably because they had just undergone an egg retrieval or transfer.  My heart ached and went out to these couples, knowing the challenges and pain they must have suffered before stepping foot into the clinic.  I sat wondering which ones had traveled as far as I had and which ones had woke in their own beds this morning.  As I thought this over, it gave me comfort knowing that I wasn't the only one going to such extremes to have a baby.

Soon enough, Chrissy and I were called into the exam room where the nurse pointed to the reclined, cushioned chair with stirrups and said to me, "I'm guessing you've done this before?"  Well aware, I assumed the position: laid back, propped my legs into the stirrups and did my best to cover my legs so as to not startle Chrissy with too much of a show.  As we waited for the doc, I checked out the sonogram equipment and was rather impressed with the modern technology (far more advanced than Kaiser's) and was pleased to find that the exam room was clean and sterile.  Yay!  You can all rest assured, I am not being treated and cared for in a third-world, run down, shady clinic!

Moments later, Dr. Skinner breezed in, introduced herself and got right to business.  She prepped the probe and had a look-see at my uterus and ovaries.  According to Dr. Skinner, my uterine lining was a "textbook example" of what a fertility doc would hope to see - thick enough to allow an egg to implant.  Yay!  Next she shifted the probe left, then right to view how my eggs have been developing.  I had bet Chrissy that my left ovary would reveal stronger, more mature eggs, but I lost!  Typically my left ovary has been rather dominant, but today the sonogram showed three eggs on the left, while the right had four.  There were a few others, outliers really, as they were the runts of the lot, too small to catch up in time for the retrieval.  So, seven total.  Not bad.  All seven eggs were about 14mm, growing a bit faster than expected.  I guess my body has reacted to the increase in Menopur (3 vials to 5).  At any rate, the doctor said once the eggs reach 18mm, we should be good to go.  She guesstimated that would be either Saturday or Sunday.

After my brief consult with Dr. Skinner, Chrissy and I were turned over to the nurse that has been handling my case since day one.  Anna has been my life saver, confidant and backbone throughout this journey - in terms of paper work, procedures and injection tips, of course.  She doesn't come close to the support of my kick ass friends! 

In Anna's office, overlooking the beach and boardwalk, she discussed next steps with me - including revisions to my medication dosage, a reminder of my upcoming counseling session and hooks me up with a stack of papers for me to sign.  She stresses that it is very important for me to relax while I am here and to take care of my mind and body.  I thanked her with a box of See's Candy from home and she led us into the recovery room where she turned me over to Emma, another nurse. 

Emma greets us cheerily and directs me to a black leather, swivel chair complete with an ottoman.  This is where I am to spend the next hour receiving my Intralipid infusion.  Intralipid is a fatty acid made from soy and eggs.  Though it has not been approved by the FDA, it is used in many European countries and has shown to increase women's chances of pregnancy when a certain antibody (one that prevents implantation) is present in the woman's body.  Blood tests taken before I left to Barbados showed that this anti-body was present in my system - lucky me.  I was rather hesitant back home in the states to agree to the drug as I didn't want to naively agree to yet another cost and in addition, had not not heard of it before.  After doing some research and finding nothing but good reports, I decided to go ahead with the administration of the drug - another net that will hopefully assist me in getting pregnant.

As I settled into the comfy chair, with Chrissy next to me in a not-so-comfy chair, the nurse, Emma, hurried back and forth treating her patients behind curtains - women who had just come out of either a retrieval or transfer.  Once she took my vitals, mixed the solution, hung it to the IV pole, and pushed a few buttons, making the little blue machine make obnoxious beeps, Emma prepared my arm for the needle.  Wrapping an elastic around my upper left arm, Emma was pleased to find that I had veins, "like garden hoses!"  As she leaned in to carefully insert the needle into my arm, Chrissy glancing the opposite direction, I myself looked down so as to not witness the puncture.  Once in, Emma attached the tube, taped both the needle and tube to my arm and adjusted the drip. 

In this way, with a pillow propping my arm level, I sat for nearly an hour as the milky white solution slid down the clear, plastic tube and into my arm.  Besides a chilling sensation, I was in no discomfort or pain, despite having a needle sticking into my arm.  The plastic clip secured to my thumb, which read my vitals and the annoying arm band squeezing the life out of my right arm, taking my blood pressure every five minutes was far more uncomfortable!

In the hour or so that Chrissy and I sat for the Intralipid infusion, the men who were in the waiting room with us earlier that morning, one by one, entered the recovery room to join their wives or partners as they came out of their deep sleep due to the anesthesia.  One at a time, the women shuffled out from behind the curtains, assisted by their husbands, looking groggy, drugged up and totally out of sorts.  This was by far the scariest part of the visit today -  knowing that that would soon be me at some point on this vacation. 

After the infusion, my last stop was to return to the waiting room to settle the balance of my bill.  Half the costs of the treatment was taken care of before I left home - quite a hefty cost that had my credit card company calling to assure I was responsible for the charges.  Now the other half - wow, the miles I'm racking up!  Chrissy and I said farewell to the ladies in the office and went about our day - getting smoothies, taking a walk and plopping down on the beach for the most part.  After all, doctor's orders were to relax, right?  I think we got that handled!

Let the Countdown Begin!

I can hardly believe that I will be on a plane to Barbados at this time, one week from today.  I know it's happening, but honestly I don't think it's really hit home that I'm going through with IVF.  Not sure if it's shell shock or if it's because I've been so darn busy that I haven't had the time to think much about it.  Or, could it be that I've been trying for oh so long and have gone through with so many attempts to get pregnant that this is all very routine and rote for me now?  Golly, I don't know.

Last week Saturday, I started my injections and a few days later took my last birth control pill.  All this is no different from what I had to do when undergoing injections to prepare for my medicated IUI cycles.  The pills and injections help to quiet the ovaries so that the docs and fertility clinic can later hijack my reproductive system and call the shots as to when my eggies should grow, how big they should grow and when to allow them to ovulate. 

The only difference this time around is that I am not using Lupron, as I did with my previous medicated cycles.  Instead, I am using Buserelin, essentially the same drug, but manufactured by a European pharmaceutical company.  Which means it's significantly cheaper, yay!  Which is great since my insurance is paying for zero, zip, zilch! 

So, I've given myself a daily injection of Buserelin (50 units) for a week now, every morning.  I was pretty much a pro after my first medicated cycle, so it hasn't been such a big deal.  Tomorrow, Monday, I go in for my baseline sonogram.  My doctor at Kaiser will then fax the results of the sono to Barbados Fertility Clinic (BFC) and the clinic will then contact me to let me know if I should proceed with the next injections. 

The next injections will be Menopur, the same drug I used for my medicated cycle.  Again, no different.  Only, BFC is being far more aggressive than Kaiser (which I'm actually happy about).  Kaiser at the most prescribed 3 vials of Menopur.  BFC is doubling it and prescribing 6 vials a day!  Grow eggies, grow!  At one time I was afraid my body would produce far too many eggs and I would take the risk of having to decide what to do if multiple eggs fertilized and implanted.  Now however, I am welcoming the drugs, cheering my follicles on and praying for an egg factory!  The more the merrier! 

With IVF, if I produce oodles of eggs, the mature ones can all be removed, fertilized and those that survive may either be implanted in me or frozen for future use.  So, let's have at it - Goooo eggs!  (shaking pom poms)

Well that's about it for drugs, until later this week.  All else is quiet - well, not really.  I've been mad, crazy, busy with school - final assessments, report cards, packing up my classroom to move to our new modernized classrooms, blah, blah, blah.  On top of that, HOT HULA classes have kept me active, exercising and doing what I love - dancing!  Oh and, I've been updating my resume.  Why, you ask?  Well, for one, my resume still indicates that I'm a student teacher.  So yeah, it's 12 years old.  But the other reason for updating?  Well...I'll need to let you know in a few more weeks...

Yesterday I went to a Single Mother's by Choice (SMC) meeting.  I was going to meetings regularly when I first started trying to conceive.  Then, I got distracted by HOT HULA, weekend getaways and  life.  I've recently gone back to meetings and it's been interesting.  Interesting because I think I'm a totally different person now.  I used to be the eager, hopeful, starry eyed newbie.  I used to think all was possible and that "my turn" was just around the corner.  Now, dare I say I've been jaded, given a reality check, and become more realistic?

Gosh, I don't know.  Don't get me wrong, I am still hopeful.  And positive.  In my heart, I know this is going to happen.  When, who knows?  But, it will.  At the same time however, when I look upon all the newbies at the SMC meeting, I see the old me in so many of the new tryers and I hate to say it, but I get a very "glass half empty" attitude.  But then, one of the ladies announces she's pregnant and after hugs and tears, a new mom enters with her precious 4 month old, and there's a new reality check.  There is hope.  This does work.  Keep on truckin.  

Yesterday's SMC meeting was difficult and great all at the same time.  It's not easy to hear pregnancy announcements when you've been trying for almost two years, and especially from someone who only tried three times.  It's not any easier to hear that the new mom got pregnant on her first try.  That all sucks.  And I hate the part of me that gets jealous and envious.  But then I love the part of me that also feels their joy, sheds a tear and congratulates them with dear compassion.  This is a painful journey, I can definitely testify.  No woman deserves the heartache, but every woman who fights the battle deserves their bundle of joy.    

Barbados, baby!

My, my it's been awhile.  Three months.  A lot has gone down.  Where to begin?


Well, in a nutshell, IVF is on.  I'm headed to Barbados in three weeks!  Hard to believe it's just around the corner.  I've been terribly busy with life to stop and consider the capacity of what is about to happen.  The last three months have been a whirlwind of events...


After the 11th try and accepting the fact that IVF was inevitable, I scheduled about half a dozen consultations with local fertility clinics specializing in IVF, only to cancel each one.  I decided instead, to go abroad to do the procedure at Barbados Fertility Clinic, who charge 1/3 the cost that clinics in the US charge.  In addition, I could satisfy the travel bug that has been itching me incessantly since my last international adventure to Indonesia. 


Since I would need to spend two weeks in Barbados (oh, darn), I decided summer would be the ideal time since I would be out of school.  That would give me time to plan, and better yet, do nothing baby related for a little while.  Honestly, it was nice to not have to worry about doctor visits, sonograms, injections and wondering whether I was pregnant or not.


As my mind was relieved of all baby thoughts, I took the opportunity to tend to my body.  While undergoing injections and protecting the delicate eggs my body was harvesting, I took it easy on my body.  Which, understandly so, left my body a little sloppy.  So, this was my time to tone up, dance hard and start teaching HOT HULA fitness classes!  Teaching two classes a week has kept me busy, my body active and my mind occupied choreographing new routines.


As Spring Break rolled around in April, I started to take serious steps toward planning the trip to Barbados.  Since then, I've been cRaZy busy planning for my IVF-vacation....


First, I established contact with the clinic.  Since the first day of contact, I can easily say that I have been in touch with the clinic nearly every workday since initial contact.  I'm already thinking about what thank you gifts from San Francisco I can bring to the nurses who have been bombarded by my questions and concerns.


Second, I requested all records from Kaiser, pestered my doctor at Kaiser to order countless labs, and acted as the middle woman between Kaiser and Barbados Fertility Center (BFC).  If only they could talk to each other in their own foreign doctor language.  Instead, I'm caught in the middle and left to ask my doctor at Kasier to perform tests I can barely pronounce.


Third, I visited Kaiser to give countless vials of blood to get current hormone levels for BFC.


Fourth,  I visited Kaiser yet again to give even more blood for tests I requested but were not ordered....grrr.


Fifth, I researched sperm banks.  It was time to pick another sperm bank since the bank I've been dealing with does not ship internationally.  Ironically, I am now dealing with California Cryobank, the sperm bank that I was totally turned off by when searching for sperm banks oh so long ago.  Their selling tactics and flashy website left such a bad taste in my mouth that I had no desire to deal with them - until now.  My only other international sperm bank option is located in Denmark, and we all know what that means - a selection of ultra Caucasian men - exactly what I'm not looking for.  So, Ca Cryobank it is!  Luckily for me, after entering in my desired demographics, ONE and only ONE donor appeared.  At one time, having very few options made groan, complain and even cry.  Now, quite the opposite!  My work is done!  With only one donor meeting my "standards"  I need not look any further!  Besides, I wouldn't have been able to even if I wanted.  So, not even bothering to purchase a baby picture or the extended profile, I purchased a vial and arranged to have it shipped to BFC.  I won't bother shocking you with the total cost to my card, including the sperm, international shipping, and deposit for the tank.  Let's just say that Chase card services called me to verify that the charges to my card weren't fraudulent!


Moving on...sixth step -  book accommodations!  For two weeks, I conversed back and forth with a very patient owner of a guesthouse located minutes from the clinic.  After taking too long debating and deciding with friends which style room we should get - one room or two rooms, patio or no patio, one king & sofa bed or two queens - we had no choice but to get a two bedroom apartment with a patio and full kitchen - top of the line!   I'm super excited as the pictures of the guesthouse are delightful and its right across from the ocean!  (Have I mentioned I LOVE planning vacations???  Tania's Travel & Tours - open for business!)


Step seven - book air fare.  After confirming my dates with the clinic and watching the air fare on Orbitz for several months stay rather steady, I went ahead and purchased two tickets from SFO to Bridegetown, Barbados!  Yes, I said two tickets!  One for me and the other for my "partner," Chrissy!  I am so lucky to have the bestest friends ever.  Chrissy is going to be flying out and staying with me for ten days.  Then, a week into our trip, my lovely Serena will meet us in Barbados and she'll fly home with me.  That means I'll have a buddy with me the entire time!  So thankful!!!


Eight - order drugs.  Since Kasier doesn't cover a dime of IVF procedures, I needed to order all my medications on line from an international company specializing in fertility drugs.  And geez, was my list of prescriptions long!  This step was quite the hurdle as there was a lot of comparative pricing involved, as well as variance in the names of drugs country to country.  Despite shopping smart, my credit card got some good use once again, earning me quite a few miles!  Perhaps after all IVF related purchases are complete I'll have enough miles to take another trip!  Haha!


Step nine - more research.  International fertility clinics require far more protocol than I realized.  More tests, more drugs and doctor visits.  The clinic has required me to undergo several lab tests that aren't typical here in the states.  Once I faxed the results of my tests, I was informed by BFC that I would need yet another drug as one of my tests showed that I have an antibody that has been associated with miscarriage and not allowing a fertilized egg to implant.  If that's the case, it would make perfect sense as to why I've never been able to conceive.  Despite the results of the tests and being aware of my sabatoging antibodies, I didn't want to sign up for the drug right away.  Instead, I was rather hestiant and didn't want to be taken for a ride, so I reserached the drug, asked my doc at Kaiser about it and chatted with women on various fertility forums.  I've received nothing but positive feedback, so I've decided to proceed with the adminstration of the drug, despite its additional cost...oughta do things by the book since I'm investing so much money and time into this procedure! 


Speaking of additional costs...this next one has me rather annoyed.  BFC requires that I meet with their counselor to discuss the challenges of raising a child with donor sperm.  Argh, after two years, I've had quite a bit of time to consider the challenges.  If I did not comprehend such challenges I think I would have changed my mind some time along the way.  Needless to say, BFC needs me to undergo counseling.  So, rather than give them even more of my money, I'm trying to take care of the counseling here, so I've been looking into resources close to home.  Unfotunately however, I don't think I'll find anything cheaper than what BFC is offering, so they may very well get even more of my money!


Ten - and a partridge in a pear tree.  Haha, j/k.  Step ten - visit library to pick up books on Barbados!  And, even though I've done so, I haven't been able to enjoy them becuase I've been so busy with steps 1-9, as well as getting through the final weeks of school!  It's hard to believe that as soon as school is over, I'm headed to Brbados to have a baby!  I know it's happening, but it truly hasn't hit me yet - even as I write these words!  Well, reality will soon set in.  In the meantime, I start my injections soon, will need to get report cards done, my classroom packed up and my suitcase as well!