Let's Get This Over With!

6-20-12

 

Today was an eventful day that started with a taxi ride to Warrens, an inland town, perched on a hill about 20 minutes from where we are staying, in Hastings.  The purpose of the visit to Warrens was to fulfill my required counseling session. 

Before leaving, I was told by Barbados Fertility Centre that since I was using donor sperm, it was required that a counselor sign me off as mentally stable to take on the challenges of raising a child conceived with anonymous donor sperm.  I thought this was absolutely absurd in my case, since I have been trying to conceive for nearly two years and have had oodles of support, therapy and time to consider the challenges.  If I was going to change my mind, I think I would have done so my now!

Well, since I did not have a letter from a professional therapist stating my sanity, I had to suck it up, pay for a private counselor and take a trip out to Warrens.  Chrissy took the ride with me, which turned out to be a great way to see another part of the island.  We arrived at the counselor's residence, a quaint yellow house surrounded by lush foliage.  Chrissy waited in the cool, breezy lanai as the counselor and I met for our session in a small, pleasant room overlooking the hillside.  No, there was no leather couch, but there were two small, white couches with colorful pillows separated by a small, brown, wooden end table conveniently holding a box of tissue.

With the counselor directly across from me in a wooden chair matching the end table, she first looked over the survey she asked me to complete when I arrived.  After a quick glance, she deemed me "not depressed" and moved on to her list of questions that she had prepared for clients such as myself. 

In her quaint, British accent, sitting upright with her legs crossed, the counselor, Laura, asked me the obvious first question - how had I come to the decision to conceive using donor sperm?  Gosh, I should have just referred her to my blog!  She went on with typical questions that did not surprise me - what's my family relations like?  Support?  Expectations?  Challenges?  Will I tell my child how they were conceived, and if so, how?  And so on. 

I must admit, when the session started, I was rather stubborn and pretty much just wanted to get the whole thing over with.  I put up with the logistics and protocol and humored her questions.  By the end of the session however, I appreciated the session and had more respect for the UK laws requiring couples and women trying to conceive in these "out-of the-norm" ways.  I can't say that I came away with more from the session, as much of what we discussed was surface level, and as far as the thought provoking questions go, I had already considered them personally on several attempts.  Though, at the same time I have to say, it wasn't a terrible experience either.

After the session, which lasted just under an hour, Chrissy and I went about our day.  We visited the capital, Bridgetown, scored some decent looking fruit and ended the day on the beach (what a surprise!).  Tomorrow we return to the clinic to discover how much the little eggies have grown over the last two days and to find out when I return for the egg retrieval.  More to come!